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I wanna love like Johnny and June
Rings of fire burnin' with you
I wanna walk the line, Walk the line
'Till the end of time I wanna love,
Love ya that much Cash it all in,
Give it all up,
And when you're gone I wanna go, too
Like Johnny and June
This song might have a little more meaning if you knew the story behind it (I highly suggest renting the movie Walk the Line - it's excellent) but you get the picture.
I want to feel that amazing, intense passion which has a deep friendship and intellectual compatibility underlying. And I don't think that I should have to find someone that I think "will do" or "is good enough." Maybe that means I'm picky; maybe that means I'll never find someone. But I want to feel my stomach flip, I want those butterflies, I want to fall in love. Maybe this is completely unrealistic but I'm going to keep trying to find it. I've never been good at "good enough" or doing things halfway or settling for something that I know that I really don't want. I just wish I had a little more control over the situation and would know when/if it's going to happen. I think I just need to trust my heart a little more to know when someone is right for me.
The teacher invited me over to his house this week to teach him how to make dinner. I think I'm going to go but I've about decided that he's not the guy for me either. He's an incredibly picky eater and that is a huge turn off for me. The anxiety just emenates off of him as well (and maybe because I can be incredibly anxious as well is the reason I can sense it). I don't know. I don't feel those butterflies; I don't feel like I'm myself around him. On paper, he sounds like a great guy (and we all know what Samantha from SATC says about good on paper . . . ).
4 comments:
I agree with this your thoughts! Being in a relationship is hard enough...being in a relationship with someone you are not head over heels for is even harder! Right?! I believe there are some Johnny's out there! :)
Teach him how to make dinner, if nothing else, you have done a good deed, and who knows, maybe as he gets a little more comfortable, you will see him in a different light. I totally understand, that is what I want too, and I really thought I had it... so, who knows, hopefully the fact that it didn't work last time means next time will be better, but it is damned hard to believe it is out there.
Katie
i don't think him being a picky eater should deter you from a relationship. you have to open your mind a little.
Whoever wrote that last comment clearly does not know me. The picky eatiness is just one of the things that bothers me and if you know me at all, you will know that if I truly like someone (like gut feeling like someone), I won't find annoying quirks at the beginning. If I don't like someone, I will. Simple as that. And I'm someone who needs to trust that instant gut feeling. DO NOT tell me to "open my mind." You have no idea what you are talking about.
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