GUEST COLUMN: The Worst Date EVER!

An old friend from high school sent me this email after reading my blog and it was so funny that I had to ask if I could publish it. I hope you all enjoy it as much as I did!

Hey! Love the blog, it's fabulous. Thought you might enjoy a little story of my own related to the online dating scene. Justin and I broke up for a few months 2 years ago and tried to date other people. Not knowing exactly where to find said people, I did the online thing as well. Started talking to this guy named James, a philosophy student at UW-Madison (should have known right away--philosophy, really?). Made plans to have lunch one Sunday. I almost cancelled cause I just wasn't feeling it, but then decided to go meet him.

He told me he had glasses and shoulder length hair--sounded interesting, I like both. I waited outside the restaurant, saw a few hot guys walk by, got disappointed they weren't him. Then I saw him walking toward me, had to fight the urge to run or pretend I was not me. Overweight, stringy brown hair, strange glasses (not at all stylish), a big leather UW coat, cable knit sweater, black tapered leg jeans, and high tops. Holy goodness. I actually tried to look cute for the "date."

So I do the right thing and we go in to the restaurant. It's this little cafe where you wait in line to order and then go to your table. It's a super busy place, and I just don't really want anyone to think we are together, so I am trying to just chat casually in the line. He actually starts asking me about the dating site in the line--how embarrassing!

He decides to order the exact same thing as me after asking what I am going to get. I get to the counter and order, trying hard to get my bill taken care of before he has a chance to order so it cannot in any way be interpreted as a date. No, he goes ahead and orders. Then he whips out his debit card and hands it to the lady with a flare that made me think he thought it was super cool to use plastic. The cafe doesn't take cards, but the woman instructs him that there is an ATM there--literally 5 feet from where we are standing. Instead he says to me "well, I guess you'll just have to pay." I was fuming at this point, but went ahead and paid cause to make a scene would be awkward.

So we go sit down. Awkward convo ensues, he tries to talk philosophy (which I am not interested in AT ALL). He's vegetarian but not vegan because he can't get behind the philosophy of it all. Found himself to be very important. He eats about 1/4 of his meal, says it wasn't very good. I, in the meantime have inhaled my food in an effort to the get damn date over with, so I look like a cow. Finally, I say I need to get going. He tries to invite me somewhere else. I beg it off. He asks if he can walk me to my apartment. I drove, thank goodness, cause what was this guy thinking...we just met, you are no way in hell coming to my apartment.

So he gives me a huge hug--ugh--and we go our separate ways. He calls several times, I don't answer. Then he sends me some strange email that I am the most beautiful girl he's ever seen and I am his ideal woman, he hopes we can get together again soon. Were we on the same date???? I am sure I am his ideal, cause I am just as judgmental as you and there was no way this guy could get someone like me in the real world (aka not online). And not because I am so fabulous, but because he was so weird. Then one more email saying he was getting kicked out of his apartment and he hoped we could still hang out. Um, no.

It was intensely bad and will always go down as my worst date ever. I feel for you, dating is terrible. But there are some great guys out there as well, I hung out with a guy named Liam for a bit that, aside from being quirky, was actually pretty cool. Keep trying, you'll at least have some good stories! Looking forward to reading more on the blog! Take care, d