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Readers, I'm here to tell you . . . the ability to spot the reason for singleness knows no boundaries from real to virtual life.
Recently I've been communicating with this guy, I'll call him "Joe." Joe is a 25-year-old computer engineer who works for a huge healthcare systems management company here in town. He seemed nerdy but cute and his profile mentioned an interest in sports and traveling. The first email went well. It was short, witty, slightly random and he asked me questions so I had something to respond to when I wrote him back. It was a pretty perfect first contact email.
And then I had the audacity to ask him to share something funny/random about himself. He launched into a laundry lists of things that include the following:
- I would rather eat chocolate chip cookies than any other food except for Kraft Macaroni & Cheese
- I think Heinz Ketchup should be it's own food group.
- I'm pro Play-Doh. I even have a free-floating chunk of bone in my chin (that you can grab onto and wiggle around) to prove it.
- I would rather be at a park swinging than doing anything else. Except for going to the movies. I need to find a place that combines those two things.
And that, ladies and gentlemen, should give you a large reason why this young man is still single. Needless to say, I did not dignify that email with a reply. On the other hand, it makes for great blogging material.
And men like him give me an interesting idea . . . wouldn't it be great if there was a place for girls to suggest that he see a consultant to become more marketable to women? And if enough girls checked that box on his profile (without him seeing it, of course) then the a personal relationship/image consultant could contact him and help him with his downfalls. She could even play herself off as an interested party and work on "cleaning" him up while they are "dating." There are just so many men out there who need so much help!
3 comments:
Hmm.... not to disagree with you too sharply cuz, but I didn't see anything there too incredibly off putting - especially when you consider that you were asking for "funny/random things." Admittedly, an unhealthy interest in processed tomato paste might not be something to just attract scores of women, but I don't think it should disqualify a guy outright. If nothing else, I thought the comments were refreshingly honest/quirky/funny - if you're wanting to know something funny and random about a guy, then perhaps you're looking for more than something that was cooked up for him by an image consultant. Just my $0.02/₤0.0373/€0.0295 :)
I think I'll have to agree with Bryan here. Both Funny and random responses...
Although, maybe Joe has autism. Sounds like he needs tactile stimulation and deep pressure.
I disagree with the other comments. You should call him Peter - as in Peter Pan. All of these funny/random things are so childish. I thought this guy was an adult. Clearly his favorite foods are macaroni & cheese and ketchup. Additionally he cannot make up his mind about anything. He states he likes something yet adds except I like this more. Seriously, make a decision and stick with it. Finally, the free-floating chunks of bone in his chin is a little off-putting. That is not a natural or normal human variation and probably has a very disturbing story to accompany it. From what I can tell, his most redeeming quality is that he is honest because who could make this up?!
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